Hi guys! I love Amber's edition of A Bride's Story this week. We tried to come up with several titles, several of which were to long, so this is my favorite that wasn't to be...Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Rude...curious, read on!
Well, friends, it finally happened. Tomorrow marks 6 months until our big day and I am finally starting to feel like time is speeding up!! Not as much as I would like, but speeding up nonetheless! My first bridal shower is in 2 months up in NY and I cannot wait! When we first started talking about the bridal showers and the wedding, it all seemed so far away and talking to Keri and Krista (maid and matron of honor) the other day, I am starting to get really excited about how close it really is. Six months isn’t a long time, heck, we’re nearly halfway through the year and it doesn’t seem possible! Another 6 months should go by in no time!
Not at all related, I wanted to share with all of you the very odd experience I had yesterday. I went to get a (long overdue) massage and while talking to the massage therapist, I realized that people really have no filter when discussing marriage/relationships/weddings with complete strangers. I didn’t really feel like sharing my whole life story with her, or hearing hers for that matter, but when you’re naked on a table…you do what you must to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I wanted to share a few gems with you from this ridiculous experience. 1) She was with her husband for 9 years, so by the time they eventually got engaged, they were married within a month. (This may work for some couples, but some of us want a shindig) 2) She informed me that the first year- scratch that -first several years are the hardest, but if you can make it through those, you’re golden. 3) DO NOT have children, (she has a 9 year old, so I found this one very interesting) they ruin marriages, apparently.
As for difficult times, every relationship has them. The idea of a “perfect relationship” is subjective. Never fighting? Not healthy, no two people are going to agree on every little thing and not fighting (and I am not talking about knockdown drag out fights, I’m talking disagreements) means nothing is sorted out! Flowers every day? Wouldn’t that be boring if it was all the time? Dan and I don’t have a perfect relationship, so I don’t believe we’re going to have a perfect marriage. We are, however, imperfectly perfect together. We fight over the dishes, money, laundry, etc. like any other couple, but we communicate our issues and resolve them. I am certainly not a relationship expert, but I think that is what you’re supposed to do and I am pretty sure that is a big reason why we’re a) still together and b) getting married. I think the unspoken c) is who else would put up with my crap like he does and vice versa!
In my opinion marriage is about love, respect, and communication. If you’re missing any of those things there is a problem. You may not always communicate well, we may do things to disrespect our partners (on purpose or by accident-we’re all human), and I am sure there are times when that line between love and hate gets really thin in the heat of the moment, but a moment does not make a relationship. A relationship is built on thousands of moments and as long as the good moments always outweigh the bad ones….that is when you’re golden.
Aside from my Hallmark beliefs, I think the moral of this story is this: Don’t tell complete strangers how hard it is to be married or have children. If someone asks for your opinion, it is probably because they trust you, so don’t just push your experiences on them and cookie cut the situation. If you are divorced, that does not mean that your best friend is going to wind up divorced. If you’re celebrating your 25th wedding anniversary, it does not mean that every couple you know will have an equally successful marriage. Be honest with the people that ask for an opinion, but be aware of the situation and we all know that sometimes a white lie for the good of friends or family is necessary. Just because you think that your friend’s new relationship is doomed to fail doesn’t mean that you have to share it with them. You may LOVE her new beau and think he is the bee’s knees, but if he doesn’t do it for her, do not rush to judgement. We all judge ourselves a million times a day for the most ridiculous things, sometimes it’s really nice and even needed to have a friend just shut up and listen. Sure, she has an opinion, but as they say at the movies (and should say at the spa)…silence is golden.
Until next time, friends!
I told you that her blog was great this week. Be sure to check back tomorrow, where we talk about Wedding Etiquette and Deadlines. I can't wait to hear your thoughts. Amber will be back next week with a new edition of A Bride's Story and check back next Thursday when we sit down with Summerfield Farms and I tell you about an upcoming promotion with them. Don’t forget to share your love on Facebook!