Hi guys! In this week's edition of A Bride's Story, Amber brings up several points that all brides should think about but most probably don't until it's too late...you've already picked your bridal party and they've said yes.*
Happy Wednesday, my friends!!! Here we are, just under seven months from the Big Day and I struggle just as much for what to write about as I did at the beginning! I have decided to dedicate this week’s blog to being the kind of bride that your ladies want to be around!
Every bride has her moments. Many have spent years or even their lifetime planning their special day. They knew they wanted a June wedding with coral dresses at the age of 6. We are not all that bride though. Some of us didn’t even think much about our wedding until we had a ring on our finger and didn’t even think about colors until we had set a date (me)! Once Dan and I decided on November for the wedding it was easy to pick the colors. Outside of that, most everything fell into my lap. I wasn’t stressing about what I wanted or how it needed to be. The ladies I chose to be with me were a no brainer and I have tried my best to be as fair and easy as I can be.
I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in two weddings in my adult life. Once was when I was in my late teens and was as surly as I could be, I still regret not being a better bridesmaid. The second was many years later and the bride and I wound up having a falling out before the wedding. She and I had been drifting for years and when she asked me to be a part of her wedding I should have known it was a bad decision, but I so desperately wanted to believe that our friendship had turned a new corner. Many tears, a lot of yelling, and a very improperly addressed invite would be the end of that. Those experiences have led me to the here and now. What you should expect as a bridesmaid and what you should do as a bride.
As a bride: Choose your maids carefully. Don’t ask anyone out of obligation. So what if you have known Jane since kindergarten?? If you aren’t close now…don’t ask her! Who cares if you were in Mary’s wedding, that doesn’t mean she has to be in yours! You and Susie made a drunken pact when you were 25 to be each other’s maids of honor? Get over it! You want the women that will be by your side and keep you standing, no matter what comes your way!
As a bridesmaid: Think carefully before you say yes. Can you afford this task? We all know being a bridesmaid isn’t cheap! Are you willing to let the next (however much time until the wedding) be about the bride? If you’re already married-remember how much it hurt when a bridesmaid put your needs on the backburner because she had a fight with her boyfriend? If you’re not yet married-take a moment and think about how that would feel. This is your 6,8,12 months to shine….appreciate that your friend wants to bask in every moment until she becomes Mrs.
As a bride: if you’re expecting your maids to get their hair and makeup done professionally, pay for it. Don’t ask someone to pay extra for something they can do themselves OR ask someone to do something that they don’t feel comfortable with. You have a friend that doesn’t wear makeup? Don’t force her. Love her for who she is. Have a friend who can’t/won’t wear contacts? Don’t even bring it up! Love HER for who SHE is. There are bigger fish to fry than the makeup or glasses of one of your besties!
As a bridesmaid: Do you know that there are things that are sticking points for your bride? DO IT! She is determined that everyone is going to wear Converse and have a peek-a-boo picture of the shoes under the dresses…just do it! (Wrong slogan-I know) Anything that you are not morally or emotionally objected to…DO IT! No matter how crazy it is, it’s her day!
Be a good bride to your maids and you’ll be blessed with wonderful maids. Be firm when necessary, but don’t be a monster!! Be who you are and love them as you always have!
Until next time!
We would love to hear your "after the fact stories."
In tomorrow’s Vendor Spotlight, we will sit down with Kimberly Williams of Weddings by the Vine. Be sure to check out tomorrow’s spotlight if you are planning recently engaged and thinking about a vineyard wedding in North Carolina.
Until next time, take in a baseball game and be sure to share your love on Facebook! Laurie